On Doulas

A doula is by definition a trained labor support person who provides physical and emotional support to the birthing woman.

Sounds amazing, right? I can hire someone who is knowledgeable about birth and they will come take care of me when I am going through the motions of labor. Sign me up!

Hold on. Let’s take a moment to understand what’s involved in physiological, mammalian birth. In general, the presence of a stranger in your birth space is both an intervention and a cause of interference. An intervention in the sense that we are adding something, in this case, someone, to the environment that would not naturally be there. An interference between you and your own inner knowing, your intuition, and your divine guidance system.    

Mothers will look to a doula for guidance rather than looking within themselves. This not only takes the mother out of her body and into her mind but it is potentially dangerous. Only the birthing woman knows how to manage the sensations she is experiencing within her own body. If there is a perceived authority present, giving orders, women will more often than not, do what they are told.

Mothers will look to a doula for support rather than to their partner. Partners end up feeling displaced, inadequate or checked out entirely. The very presence of a doula inhibits both the mother and her partner from acting out their natural, instinctive behaviors because there is an outsider observing them. Whether conscious or subconscious this is unavoidable.

Of course, this is not the intention. Doulas will tote they do not “replace partners” in the birth space. They support mothers and partners equally with birth education and tips on coping strategies for labor. But what happens in the birth room in real-time is that the expert doula takes over the show. Some are more aggressive than others.

Doulas have themselves been inundated with skills, tools, and techniques to comfort the birthing mother and help facilitate the birth. Doulas may be more active in the birth space to feel of value and earn their fee. Doulas may take pity on the birthing woman and want to save her from her own experience. All of this is taken from the birthing woman. Taking her power, authority, and self-direction in moments when she has the greatest potential to access them if left undisturbed.

We need more authentic doulas. We need more friends, mothers, and sisters stepping up to support each other in our birthing time. Women in your life who you know and trust and who will show up for you without hesitation. To witness, hold space, and be present in what is. This type of support places the birthing woman at the center of her own experience which allows physiological birth to unfold unhindered.

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